Rick was my strength through the abuse and helped me get through therapy. I thought God had blessed me with a man who loved me unconditionally and the life I had with him was happy.
John knew me right after my abuse and I was scared when we got into our first fight. How could someone who is so loving give me two men to love and take them both away.
The abuse..
I was nineteen when it happened. I was a faithful member of the LDS church. I met a man named Greg. He was kind and loving. He thought that since I didn't want vaginal sex till we were married that anal sex was ok. My heart hurt everytime I was forced to do it. I could only borrow his car if I gave him what he wanted. I'm not sure how or why it happened to me. My anger with God is very apparent. I'm tired of feeling not worth anybody's love. I don't understand a God who loves his children world let something like this happen. I'm so sad sometimes thinking about it.
God for some reason likes to see me suffer. Haven't I suffered enough. Take two husbands, a baby, and the abuse and let me struggle with all of it.
I'm tired of it. God is not loving, he doesn't care about me and I'm done with him.
My Faith doesn't exists anymore. I'm done with religion and God.
Thanks for listening
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