mother's day 2023

I dread mother's day every year.  Even though I don't have any physical kids, I'm always told that I am a mother from the day of conception. 

Today I texted my sisters to wish them happy Mother's Day and instead of saying it back they just said thank you.  

This saddens me and I'm tired of trying to fit in.  

Even though I lost a baby that doesn't mean I'm not a mom.  

They ask why I don't want to hang out with my family and I'll tell you why....

Why do my siblings get their spouses and their children and God thought my life wasn't worth that? It makes me angry and jealous to see it.  I also think it's unfair that God has chosen to punish me with alot of loss.  I hate it and I believe God is sadistic and finds joy in punishing me for some fucking reason.  

It's not fair and I'm beyond pissed.  

I'm grateful for the mom I have.  She is a great strength to me.  

Thanks for listening